After taking an introductory history class in the first quarter of my freshmen year, I decided to minor in history as I fell in love with the beauty of history and discovered its wonderful link with engineering. Thus I decided to ask my professor regarding what classes she would be teaching in the near future.
“I will be teaching a class about the holocaust, I am glad that the lectures are asynchronized the content makes me sad.”
The class was a senior level class which had a graduate school equivalent, I feared that I would not be able to handle the intensive reading and writing of the class but who knew that it was the easiest task. The content gave me goosebumps as I felt myself holding tears after thirty pages of reading, I began to question why such cruel people existed and how much pain the victims suffered. 150 pages left… you got this! That is what I told myself, yet my ability to read quickly did not help. Too much… I just cannot continue. The primary sources brought me in a rollercoaster of sadness, yet that feeling never got old. As I was onto my third paragraph in my first big essay, the tears finally came out whilst I implemented the stories of the survivors into my essays. My ability to write 1000 words in an hour that I acquired from Year 12 did not help here, I had to take breaks to stabilize emotions before I continued.
No… this class was not hard nor was it far from my capability. Yet, taking it in a term where I decided to overload my courses and rush the completion of my research project in the midst of a catastrophe, it acted as a reminder for me to be grateful. Yes, I may be living in a tough time but as hard as it gets the victims of the holocaust went through a lot. Comparing how bad things progressed in their time was hard, the definition of “bad” or “worse” evolved to the point the word “good” or “better” can act as a synonym to its former definition. Yes, former with new regulations constantly implemented to make the lives of the Jews more miserable I cannot count how many times my body became weak through hearing about the treatment they received.
Simultaneously, this class taught me how important this topic is. It manifested how racism is not merely about race yet it can also be a mask to one’s economic or political endeavors. It can be one’s way to express their resentment or to get rid of debt. Yet, it taught me that not an ordinary men can be shaped into a villain by his circumstances. It taught me to be more self-aware about my values and principles, so that I will not easily give in to peer pressure. It taught me to once again be grateful of what I have and achieve success through hard work, not being the best does not mean that I must resent those who are better yet I should take advantage of it to learn to be better. Besides, it does not hurt to learn from others right? It also taught me to not be greedy, sometimes we are given what we have for a reason and there will be a time when we will get more so do not be blinded by greed yet take advantage of what you have. For what you do not have will not limit you from thriving. Everything happens for a reason. Most importantly, be kind the world may be cruel and everyone around you may not like you but do remember that it does not hurt to be kind to one another as you may not what circumstances the other are facing.
I may only be halfway through this class, yet despite how much tears I tend to shed this class taught me so much about life. Hope to give an update once this term is over!
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